I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
