Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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