Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
