We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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