OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
