so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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