So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
