I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
