Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
