Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
