yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
