honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
