does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
