i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
