Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
