He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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