I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
