hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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