5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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