so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
