It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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