went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
