Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
