y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
