Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
