I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
