u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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