just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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