A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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