one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
