I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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