he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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