Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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