She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
