I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
