hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
