sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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