When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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