Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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