What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
