Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
