I wanna bring you to show and tell
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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