a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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