More tranny stories later!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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