What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We left an ass print on the piano.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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