it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
