he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
where am i from again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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