Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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