i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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