Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
