I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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