Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
