There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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