Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
