Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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