I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
