I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
