I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
